Pageant Police

As my parents and I headed west on the way home from Miss Southeastern Ohio, both the car and I were hungry, but it was late and most signs we could see from the highway seemed to be turned off. By Columbus the car’s needs became pertinent. Unlike most exits, the one we got off on didn’t have a gas station within the first half mile or so. As we drove further into what looked more like yuppyville and less like an exit, our main concern was finding what we needed and getting home before dawn! The next thing we knew… red and blue swirled behind us. Like a true BGSU student, all I could think was un-Falcon-believable!* Apparently the newly paved fancy four-lane street we were on was only 35 mph.

In a newspaper interview I once told a reporter that I kept my crown in my car, because “you never know when you’ll need it to get out of a speeding ticket!” The truth is that it never helps, but this time was different. The last thing I had done before leaving the after party was pass out a few business cards and take my crown off. Thus, my wallet had randomly ended up in my crown bag. So to provide the officer with my license, I had to reveal the crown! How perfect is that! My charm, my crown and the fact that the officer and his wife were also BGSU Falcons resulted in my first warning. Finally! The tradeoff was that when the officer returned to the car window, he chatted with me for five minutes about where we’d each lived in BG. I hate pointless banter. As if either of us will ever live in BG again! But I endured for the greater good of my bank account and driving record.

This brings me to a phenomenon- pageants and police. My family and I have suffered many a speeding ticket due to my participation. Review below:

-Last year I had to grab a prescription on my way to Miss Ohio from the campus pharmacy and I got a ticket on a fake, abandon-for-the-summer campus road, from a fake campus officer who had nothing better to do!

-Last year my brother Monte received a ticket on his way home from Miss Ohio.

-Two years ago Miss Ohio’s community service day fell on my birthday, and I got a ticket on my way home. Let’s think about this- pageant contestant, community service and BIRTHDAY, and I still got the ticket.

-My mother got a ticket on our way to Miss Ohio’s Spring Forum a few years back.

-I received a ticket on the way to compete in Miss Miami Valley a few years back, but it gave me a great intro for my interview, seriously, I used it!

-My other brother, Brian, is always a speed demon, so we just assume that coming to Miss Ohio from Chicago, he’s received one or two, though he never admits to any.

I tell you, my family and I never get tickets, unless it’s pageant related… So I was certainly due for this warning.

*Please note, the phrase "un-falcon-believable" is not meant to be offensive. Rather, it was coined by BGSU’s top-secret spirit crew, SicSic, which was created by the University's President back in 1946. They remain a presence on our campus with their random “SicSic Sez” signs; they often don’t make sense, but when un-falcon-believable originated on one, it became instantly as classic as "Ay Ziggy Zoomba" in BG (because the falcon is our mascot). [The photo on the left with SicSic in their disguises and one of their signs was found on Facebook; I don’t know Megan, or if she got captain! Click to enlarge.] Hmm… Actually, now that I Google it, “un-falcon-believable” is everywhere… So maybe it didn’t originate with SicSic, but they’re how it got into my vocabulary. Regardless, I found it ironic and amusing that I honestly said that, then BGness helped me get out of the ticket!